Here are 10 hard truths about love affairs for “relationship goals”
In order to reach your relationship goals, these are the 10 hard truths about love affairs that might help you understand.
Poor timing can result to break up despite you love each other
Journalist Jenna Birch explains said that timing is important in a relationship. She said that most men want to be professionally and financially stable first before settling down. On the other hand, women can do focus on career and love at the same time. Thus, women tend to move to men who are more ready.
“Rebel” personality tends to fall in love with “obliger” personality
“If you’re an upholder, you live life according to a schedule. [For example] you never miss your daily run, and you always eat fewer than 30 grams of carbs a day, and you always go to bed by 11. It could be exciting be swept off your feet by somebody who feels very free and not confined.” – Gretchen Rubin, author of The Four Tendencies
“The one” may not be real
“There is a one that you choose and with whom you decide that you want to build something. But in my opinion, there could also have been others — you just chose this one.” – Esther Perel, couples therapist and author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs
Passion may fade
The decline of passion in a relationship is perfectly normal but it can be rekindled, according to relationship expert and marriage counselor Rachel Sussman. The key to this is not to freak out. Couples experiencing this could use some strategies such as schedule the intimate moments, try a new and exciting activity together and be patient while you work on things.
Miserable times in your relationship can occur
Couples must accept the reality that relationships go through miserable times. Total happiness is hard to come by as they say. However, difficult situations in a relationship is normal, according to Diane Sollee, a marriage educator.
Having a pet or a joint bank account can help
Psychologists call these as “material constraints” which is linked to a 10% increase in a couple’s chances of staying together. This situation may come from the probability that it is hard to disentangled from a relationship when it is not just the two of you.
Different values can negatively affect the relationship
It is fine to have different interests or hobbies but couples with different values or perspective in life have greater chances of losing each other eventually.
Compatibility is not a major factor
“Even if we achieve compatibility in the marriage, there’s no guarantee that that compatibility will remain strong over time.” – Eli Finkel, psychologist and author of the book The All-or-Nothing Marriage
Relationship experts also struggle with conflict in their marriages
Four married couples in which both partners are relationship experts talked to Business Insider and each couple had stories about marital conflict.
One expert said that the key to this is to be curious. Asking your partner about the things that can upset them and understanding their predicaments can help.
Expectations versus reality
Some people tend to picture out how their relationship is going to be based on the idea that the factor surrounding them implies. It is important to understand what is real and what just expectations.
What can you say about these hard truths about relationship goals?
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